whats wrong with having no child anyway ?

I want to agree with most people that every couple is expected to have a child after marriage. Well, at least that’s according to the societal expectations and Africa to be specific. I think it’s a notion that has outlived its expectation in some way. I believe this is in regard to an ideal situation in an ideal world, never mind with an ideal couple. Did I hear someone say he didn’t get me well, I did.

The notion that every married couple should eventually have a kid after 9 months and some hours of their marriage is farfetched, a lie and an outright injustice to many couples in this continent for the very reason that it ignores the plight of infertility that comes with either men or women .Yet for me, the two make a family after all. Now, me thinks no one should quote me wrong that I don’t want kids here but I should instead be quoted for standing with the plight that has befell couples who have with time not had children as the society expects them to do so. Their fault? Maybe not.

Some stereotypes should be debunked and outlawed in this continent for the very reason that they go against the basic tenets of the world of reality. That said, I think I should welcome you to the world of reality where science and fate  by default and not design have their say on this; deny a couple a child. This is basic knowledge per say but the international community; especially Africa has always blamed this on the mother. What a fallacy of this day and age lads!

Does it mean that only women suffer from such cases? No … Anyone disagreeing should read the WHO report that puts men with a high percentage on such cases. But that’s not even the point I am putting across.

Here comes an African lady ,gets married to a charming man of his time , red hot from a wedding that attracted a sizeable crowed, hey they begin life together with mountains of hopes . To get kids is the top of the agenda but as time will eventually tell, it’s not the case.

The mother is now hated by all the relatives of the husband, allegedly for not having had a kid yet, wait, how about the neighbors who keep you in the gossip columns for the wrong reasons. It’s hard to cope with childlessness in Africa. The mother in law has even heightened the vibe against you by always reminding the son to press the exit button. I mean if you put yourself in the shoe of an African childless mother, you will be having a feeling that they have been through hell and back.

It’s important for us to ask ourselves just when the rain begun beating us this hard. Brings me back to my primary school early education where we were always told that a family is made of a father, mother and children. Please note that the sentence talks of the plural of the word child here which then brings me to the question of our upbringing. Is the society inccalculating the right attitudes to our children? Or if I may ask, what becomes of couples who have not children? Do they cease being called a family because fate or whatever a reason made them not have one.

Of much concern again is the way the church is always trying g to benefit from the plight of childless women. Church leaders(rogue ones) have never missed the chance to remind barren women to panda mbegu, all in an attempt to have them raise monies so as for them to enrich their empires and what have you. Reports of barren women moving from one crusade to another and doing all manner of charms to appease the unknown gods are abounding. As E.K puts it, this madness should end. The church has always remained mum on the plight of childless mothers. When one digs deeper on the childless mothers in the bible, God always persevered them for his glory. Their stories can still be told today. You will hardly hear such admission from the modern church, albeit for reasons known to them.

Sarah had a child at 99 years; no one said in his time that she did a lot of abortions as often claimed by the modern world in reference to mothers without children. It dishonest and hurting to them and I think there needs to be a paradigm shift on the issue. Social stigma is on the rise and this raises a lot of questions than answers on the same issue. We’ve got to embrace the childless mothers without stigma.

After all, childlessness is not a disease or a disability. We should say no to social stigma. Shall we?